Recently, GOP apparatchiks have announced that Jenna and Barbara Bush would be taking a more active role in their father's campaign. The staffers have also, however, inveighed against members of the press who would seek to use the twins' new role to compromise their privacy. As Richard Spencer, editor of In Touch Weekly, basically said over the weekend: 'You can't have your cake and eat it, fuckers.' So, in that spirit and in celebration of the twins both graduating from college, here is the top ten plus one of the juiciest things reported about the twins in the last few years (in no particular order).
1. Jenna was voted "most likely to trip on prom night" in high school. Like, trip on acid, duhh.
2. At U of texas, Jenna is nicknamed "Jenna and Tonic." The Secret Service's codename for her is "Twinkle," Barbara's is Turquoise. Read into those names what you will, people.
3. Gay Texas band Nerf Herder writes a song "Jenna Bush Army:" "come ye rally round the flag, if you don't like her you must be a fag!" Jenna dances wildly on stage at their concert. Oh yeah, Granny Bush, look at the little fag-hag go.
4. Barbara Bush is allegedly videotaped naked at a "the bare-all bacchanals," a finals week Yale party. Larry Flynt offers $1m dollars for tape.
5. A neighbor of Barbara, when she lived in the Yale dorms, claims to have still photos of Barbara naked.
6. When Jenna is told by an Austin waitress she will not be served alcohol, the first daughter answers "whatever." Both twins are cited for underage drinking later that same day.
7. Jenna uses her trusty pals in the Secret Service to hit on Chris Cornell of Audioslave.
8. Ashton Kutcher tells Rolling Stone that the Bush twins got stoned at his house while Secret Service agents waited outside. Also he notes that the agents ask him if "[the twins would] be spending the night." Heh.
9. Jenna kisses another girl as other girls cheer them on on two separate occasions, last year. (See top pic)
10. Barbara Bush rips it up with Fabian Basabe; photographed straddling his leg on the frontpage of the NYDN. Also, she is reported to have done a sexy belly dance at Viscaya. You go, you sexy piece of first-ass!
11. A Page Six not-so-blind item warns the daughter of a very high-level politician to watch out for diseases from her bisexual socialite lover.